Graditude Retribution

"Mom, can I be all done with dinner?"
"Sure, if you ate enough, baby."
"Thank you Mommeeeee!!! THANK YOU for letting me be done with dinner!!!!!"

"Thank you for buying me new socks, Momma. You're the best!"


"Mom, I have to poop. Can I please use the bathroom?"


"Can you please buy some healthy food at the grocery store, Mom?

My family gives me shit for the inane things my kids are polite and thankful for, the everyday common things. Jo Dizzle thinks I secretly threaten to beat them senseless if they don't thank me profusely for putting a hat on their heads in 17 degree weather.

I was at the grocery store the other day with Thing One. We were in the produce section and she saw those freakishly small watermelons:

"MOM! Can you pul-ease buy me a watermelon? I haven't had one in a really long time, since they were in season, and I would really love one!"
"Sure, babe, we'll get you one and let's look at these pears, too."
"Oh, thank you Mom, thank you!! You're the best Mommy ever!"

I looked up to see a worker looking at us, she told my daughter that was a sweet thing to say to her Mom and that most of the time kids are just yelling at their moms in the store. Before you ask, the answer is yes. I did start to tear up.

Time spent with their Dad is another story: