At 7:30 last night, I was dragged kicking and screaming from my warm place on the couch out into the sleet and snow to watch an 80's cover band, Hairbangers Ball. Typical of the area, getting out of our car in downtown Joliet we were accosted by a young man in a hoodie who had smeared snow onto himself and was begging us for "8 dollars so I can get into the homeless shelter." Yes, apparently the shelters are charging a cover these days.
My husband gave him a handful of change and the dude told us he wanted more. He then proceeded to limp away, practically dragging one leg behind him. We later saw him sprinting by keeping up with another man on a bike.
The band came out to a packed house and a couple of us bitch bumped our way up to the front where I got a better look at the spectacle. The band sounded great, but I was in hysterics for the rest of the night. The band kept catching me laughing, is that wrong?
Lead singer: A cross between those two blonde 80's lead singers (no, not Hanson and Nelson) but with way too much black eyeliner
Bassist: An emaciated Avril Lavigne/Seth Green combo
Keyboard Chick: Hands on hips, cheesy smile never left her face, never once touched the keyboards. Constantly did the exaggerated pretend clap above her head
Guitar 1: Punked up guy that plays 80's music since no one is beating down the door for a Green Day cover. Band Stage name: Sean Jovi
During Tiffany's "I Think We're Alone Now" he leaned over, looked at us and mouthed the words "I think we should bone now," making the Universal Boning Motion. For really.
Drummer: Fat kid from Goonies or Lean on Me, take your pick
Guitar 2: Mr.
Belding
wearing a wig reserved only for 13 year old girls in Joan
Jett Halloween costumes and grown men trying to win Hannah Montana tickets. He also kept giving my sister-in-law the eye with a lame-o smile. Oh Mr.
Belding, don't you have a detention to hand out to Kelly
Kapouski?
The crowd was a mix of people who were actually alive in the 80s (many of whom thought it WAS 1987,) younger kids who had listened to these songs like I listened to The Beatles, and people in their mid to late 30s. The guys in their 30s were hands down the best to watch.
Rock out with your cock out.
These dudes were instantly taken back to their
Camaro days of screeching tires, cigarette flicking and body wave perms. (yes, Andrew, I'm talking to you) These guys spent the night:
- high-fiving each other,
- leaning in to sing the lyrics of every song into each other's beer bottle,
- playing air guitar,
- banging air drum,
- slamming their receding hairlines up and down to the beat, with the image of their once-lustrous locks in their heads, and
- when not hugging one another, holding one hand forming the rock out sign perpetually in the air.
The band was actually awesome. They play there again in April, I plan to bring a bigger posse and I promise to be prepared next time he flashes me the
UBM sign. Mark my words.
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