Our government has attempted drastic, unprecedented measures to "restore" our economy and shove us all into a time warp with the hope that we will all overspend like it's 2005.
As a glass-is-half-empty, the-sky-is-falling-and-I-fucking-love-it, I-thrive-on-doom-and-gloom kind of pessimistic gal, errr tranny, I take this as a challenge. The hindrance of thwarting the government's ridick-ulous actions is weighing on my shoulders.
In order to do my part and serve my country, I devised a plan. A plan that would involve the manipulation of some of my near and dear. A plan aimed at some of the biggest spenders I know. Bwah-hah-hah.
One Saturday night a month we have what I dubbed a Depression Dinner. The menu centers around something you would normally go to a restaurant for but we buy the shit at the grocery store (preferably Aldi or the like) and do it cheap ass style. We buy beer and blackberry brandy for the Polack at a discount lick-her store.
Just imagine the damage I am doing to our retail sector!
Last month we had Pizzeria JBear. What's the impact on our economy? Let's check out the carnage, shall we?
Restaurant:
6 pizzas: $120
Apps: $20
20 beers: $80
Pop for the kids: $12
Straight vodka for Sue: $18
Blackberry brandy for the Polack: don't have
Mixed drinks for Sin-dee: $16
Dessert: $30
Shit they always buy for the kids in the game room: $40
Tip: $60
Grand total:$396
Pizzeria JBear:
6 pizza setups: $24
Misc extra toppings: $5
Apps: $10
Beer (incl Max Ice in giant cans): $20
Blackberry brandy for the Polack: free from cabinet
Vodka for Sue: free and old from cabinet
Pop for the kids: $1.50 (2 litre)
Dessert: $8
Shit they can't buy for the kids cause we ain't at no fucking store: $0
Tip: Don't eat yellow snow
Grand Total: $68.50
A difference of 327.50 bucks. Ouch. Take that Geithner.
Next Saturday is Chipotle Jana style. And yes, I'd like you to salt my rim.
Disclaimer: The term "Polack" is not being used in a derogatory manner on the For Really blog and I will accept no additional hate mail on this subject or on my being a horseface. Good day.
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